Birth of a Blog

Each time my parents come to visit, they bring along some of my childhood things. Now that I’m in a house (instead of a cramped apartment), I finally have room for all my old belongings. Last time, they brought me my diaries.

I started journalling when I was in the second grade and continued until sometime around the tenth grade, when I switched over to writing angsty, undated, free-form poetry in black and white composition books.

A part of me dreaded reading these, thinking they’d be full of cringeworthy petty remarks about people I love, or just lists of things that I bought. All rudeness and consumerism. 

But they’ve turned out to be just lovely. They’re hilarious. It’s relaxing to read. You forget so much of the little dramas of childhood, but they’re entertaining. It’s a great window into who I was, and what it was like, coming of age. I think these reminders will come in handy when my own daughter is growing up.

And I’m so glad that I kept these records of my life. Sometimes I’d just describe all the things that I could see around me on a winter morning. I’d work through little problems, trying out each possibility, a perfectly preserved written account of a train of thought. 

And then I think back through the years I didn’t document - all of my twenties - and I’m sad that there are some places I can’t revisit so easily. Some earlier versions of me that I can’t sit with. It gives me a strange comfort, spending time with my 12-year-old self. As if I’m back in time, but I don’t feel quite so lonely anymore. 

So that’s why I’ve decided to start keeping a blog. I need a little place to document some things, and I like that an online journal takes up no space in my home. (I have started a physical journal, but I’m considering it the “house journal” and only writing in it once a season.) I won’t be able to detail some of the more sticky interpersonal situations in my life in this blog - these things are not for the public - but I’ll be able to at least leave something here that I might really enjoy revisiting someday.

In the interest of getting some things down before I forget them, I’ve decided to write out the saga of “why it took so long to make this album.” I’ll begin rolling out the story in the next 6 or so blog posts. It spans about three years of grant-writing, starting a family, and moving into our first home. I’m glad we kept pushing it off and taking our time, because the finished result is going to be more than worth it. I’m excited to start telling the story!