The aesthetic of “Midnight Wind” came out of this stormy season. It’s why the song is so moody and tumultuous, with dissonant chords conjuring dark clouds in the verses, before the chorus sweeps in, like the cold air behind a storm front, a brief respite from all that heavy-draped humidity.
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At that point in time, practicing vocal improvisation was my favourite thing. It feels like flying, and the more you do it, the more you reach these divine places, and music becomes a realm of magic, endless possibility.
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“Everything” leaves behind the self-deprecating person I was on Little Sway, born out of the realization that it is toxic to try to feel everything, that entire shadow world of bleak sadness is a place you should visit no more than necessary - that my being is valid and has worth, no matter whether anyone else sees it or not.
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I wanted to write this song to express the need for women in power, to be visible authorities, to help a world that desperately needs help. I was despairing at how much humanity’s progress is hampered by the fact that half of the world is, to varying degrees, discouraged from actively participating in finding solutions for our problems.
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I was smitten, but I don’t think he ever actually called me his girlfriend - what we had was undefined. Mutual friends were always telling me they’d seen him somewhere with someone else, but I was mostly too infatuated to give up on him (and all this drama provided such great inspiration for my angsty poetry).
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I think that was the only time I ever felt just the slightest regret for not having subscribed to the puritanical idea of “saving oneself for marriage”. Because you do give a little piece of yourself away to your old lovers, even if it’s a piece you don’t miss, or one that you replace.
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I was afraid when I got off the bus that she’d follow me home, but she didn’t. When I got to my apartment, I finally cried, stripping off my clothes and washing my hair until my scalp burned.
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With downtown as the setting for their first date, I felt inclined to make the song a bit edgier in feel, writing the verses in a minor-key feeling, but making the choruses feel more warm, major-key vibe. I actually had Corinne Bailey Rae’s style in mind while writing the choruses, and I often try to channel her tenderness when I sing those parts today.
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There’s a persistent disconnect when your loved one is often traveling for work, especially if it’s a type of work that makes texts and phone calls really scarce. Even when they physically return to you, there’s an emotional distance there that you both need to cross in order for them to truly come home to you. Sometimes you get there before they leave again, and sometimes, you don’t.
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Only You & Me is one of of the seventy-plus custom love songs that I’ve written since 2016. If you aren’t familiar, I take peoples’ true love stories and turn them into love songs that I deliver as professional recordings. It started as a lark one Valentine’s Day, and has since turned into a cornerstone of my livelihood, resulting also in a 2017 TEDx talk, Love Songs For Hire.
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Welcome to The Meaning Of, a new series of blog posts exploring the meaning behind each song from my 2020 album, Heirloom. I’ll explain the stories that inspired the songs, and reveal some of the musical roots and references that helped shape my musical and lyrical choices. If there’s something particular that you’re curious about that I haven’t revealed, leave me a question in the comments below, and I’ll be pleased to answer it.
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